someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
