I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it hurts more in the daytime
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
