So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
