We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
