Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
