Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
