Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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