Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
