We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
