Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize