everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
