I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
