So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
