Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
