Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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