it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She even gives head with a lisp.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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