Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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