Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
