I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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