youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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