I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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