There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
