What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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