Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
