she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
