pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
