Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize