You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
