Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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