tell your sister to shave her snatch
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize