In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
