i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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