Plan B is the new Plan A
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i've created a new STD.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
