I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
