Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Did I show you my penis last night?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
