His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
