She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
