I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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