I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
