so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
