She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
