I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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