i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
