apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize