I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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