I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
