corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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