He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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