i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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