Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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