if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
