Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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