I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
we should paint friendship bongs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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