I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
