Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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