It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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