Whod you bang
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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