BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
