i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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