Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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