Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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