Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
