forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize