I think I died a long time ago.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
